Should relationships be hard

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There are hundreds of myths about relationships, according to Terri Orbuch, Ph. So without further ado, here are eight myths about relationships that might surprise you. D, a clinical psychologist in Pasadena and Los Angeles, who specializes in emotionally-focused therapy with couples. She likened Should relationships be hard healthy relationship to a good garden.

In other words, are you spending more time tending to the relationship and keeping it afloat than enjoying it? We develop this expectation as kids, she said. However, passion naturally diminishes in all relationships. Daily routines are one of the culprits, Blum said. As their responsibilities grow and roles expand, couples have less and less time and energy for each other. With a little planning and playfulness, you can boost passion.

Blum sees many relationships where passion is alive and well. Fact: Studies have shown that relationship happiness actually decreases with every child, she said.

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But the mounting challenges can complicate Should relationships be hard. Having realistic expectations helps couples prepare themselves for their new roles, she said. When you think that will improve your relationship, it only adds to the complications. She recommended planning ahead and talking about the changes that will occur when you have your first child or more. Fact: Jealousy is more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship or the lack thereofshe said.

While you can be supportive, according to Orbuch, your partner must work on their insecurity issues on their own. Trying to make your partner jealous also can backfire. While men and women are just as likely to experience jealousy, their reactions differ. Women, on the other hand, respond by trying to improve the relationship or themselves. Fact: In actuality, what ruins relationships is not resolving your fights, Blum said. Also, the type of fight a couple has plays a role. Not surprisingly, nasty, scornful or condescending fights that leave couples resolution-less and not talking for days damage the relationship.

Myth: In order for the relationship to be successful, the other partner must change. Instead, we demand that our partners make such and such changes. Unless, there are extreme circumstances like abuse or chronic infidelity, Blum said, it takes two to make changes. Fact: By the time couples seek therapy, this may be true, but changing this mindset is key. Instead, Blum suggested that people view couples therapy as preventative. Learn more about Lisa BlumPsy. D, and Terri OrbuchPh.

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Medically reviewed by Kendra Kubala, PsyD.

Should relationships be hard

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