Added: Marietta Mclawhorn - Date: 27.04.2022 01:42 - Views: 46823 - Clicks: 1746
I can vividly remember certain times in my life when I have been deeply hurt, shamed, excluded, or violated by someone. I clearly remember wanting the violators to understand the pain they caused, offer me a genuine apology, and hear them pledge to never do it to anyone else. All the other times, there was either no resolution or no remorse. I walked away from the painful experiences feeling angry, conflicted, hopeless, and confused. When my daughters began coming to me with their own hurtful experiences, I felt a familiar wave of unsettledness.
In a few cases, there was somewhat of a resolution. But most of time, Really hurtful things to say did not happen. The person who inflicted the pain was either unremorseful, unaware, or unchanged. As we talked through it, I wondered, is this it? Is this all we can do when someone hurts us?
Then last spring, I came across a powerful perspective offered by renowned author and speaker for young people, Kari Kampakis. Kari wrote:. Really hurtful things to say when you encounter someone who hurts your feelings, lean into that feeling. Ask yourself what they did to make you feel that way. Was it the words they chose? Their tone? The way they picked favorites and then ignored everyone else? Whatever they did, make a pledge. This is how you become a kinder and more compassionate person. This is how you learn from their mistakes. And when you meet someone you really like, lean into that feeling, too.
Ask yourself what they did to make you feel so good. Then make a pledge to yourself to be more like them. This is also how you become a kinder and more compassionate person.
Regardless of how anyone treats you, you stand to benefit. I thought hopefully. As we were driving home from swim team practice, my younger daughter, who was nine at the time, said something happened at school that made her very sad. She has given me permission to share. When she told her friend she was going to have to have surgery, the friend immediately went into worse surgeries people she knew have had.
Talking to her friend about how her response made her feel only caused her friend to become defensive and angry. While she may seem like an unlikely teacher or an unqualified one, see this person as someone here to teach you something. What did she teach you today?
My daughter thought for a moment. And to give comfort when people tell me they are scared or when they share bad news. Now when someone tells you something bad or good going on in his or her life, you can respond with the compassion you would have liked to receive today. When we got home, we made a pledge book. We both agreed to use it whenever an unlikely teacher taught us something through a hurtful experience. Our pledge book has been very cathartic for us. Taking hurts and offenses and turning them into positive intentions feels empowering and healing.
I even revisited some of my unresolved past hurts and made them into pledges. I was surprised at the relief and closure that mere action brought to my soul. But I must say, the pledge book has been most helpful to us right now, in a time of great divisiveness and pain in our country. She gave me permission to share. She had been hurt. And when she told the person that the name-calling hurt her feelings, she was met with anger and opposition. While the tendency might Really hurtful things to say been to:.
And I am seeing it. I am seeing the pledges in her book come to life through her actions and words—and Really hurtful things to say too.
You might say the pledge book sitting on my dresser is A Playbook for Bettering Humanity. And from that unlikely teacher, a painful experience could become a heartfelt pledge, igniting hope for all of humanity. We have a very special online community where positivity, love, and acceptance continue to flourish in a time of great discord.
If you are new here, welcome! Please see my Amazon Author for the three books I have written. It can be a practice for all of us with Only Love Today. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for these comforting words. I participated on a conversation here on Facebook. We had different opinions about a very controversy topic. Some ladies called me stupid, an ignorant and an idiot. During the conversation, where I respectfully told my opinion, she could not cope with, it got very ugly and disgusting.
I deleted them immidiately and so she Really hurtful things to say them via message. During the conversation she discovered that I misscarried a few months ago. I read of these trolls, that offend others out of the blue, but never immagined this could happen to me. First Really hurtful things to say was angry, frustrated and scared. But then, I took the chance to learn my lesson. I reported her to someone who might be importamt for her. Cause this cyber mobbing must stop! Dear Maria, oh my heart hurts for you. I have been exactly where you are.
It shook me to my core. I wanted to retreat. To take down all my social media profiles, to take down my blog, to go to a place where that person could not touch me. But after a long night of prayers and tears, I felt a resolve rise up inside me.
I thought: you can say all the vile, untrue, cruel words about me, but you cannot take what is most precious to me. I refused to let this person stop me from speaking my truths, helping others, and being a light in the darkness. I love that you came to a similar conclusion. And now when I see a friend getting attacked online, I let her know she is not alone.
That unlikely teacher taught me how I want to response when I see someone in a similar situation. I also share with my daughters this experience to help them in the future. I commend you for realizing the best response is no response.
And for reporting it.Really hurtful things to say
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