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Posted May 2, Reviewed by Lybi Ma. What is the acceptable minimum age for a dating partner? When this question comes up in conversation, someone inevitably cites the half your age plus seven rule. This rule states that by dividing Proper dating age own age by two and then adding seven you can find the socially acceptable minimum age of anyone you want to date. With some quick math, the rule provides a minimum and maximum partner age based on your actual age that, if you choose to follow it, you can use to guide your dating decisions.
The utility of this equation?
Proper dating age lets you chart acceptable age discrepancies that adjust over the years. But how legitimate is this rule? Does it match our scientific understanding of age-related preferences for dating? Does it always apply? Should it ever? Researchers Buunk and colleagues asked men and women to identify the ages they would consider when evaluating someone for relationships of different levels of involvement. People reported distinct age preferences for marriage ; a serious relationship; falling in love; casual sex; and sexual fantasies. Based on the figures Buunk and colleagues provided and thus the s are only informed approximationsI replotted their data superimposing the max and min age ranges defined by the half-your-age-plus-7 rule.
You can see that men are basically operating by the rule for minimum age preferences for marital relationships blue bars and serious dating relationships yellow bars. Those age preferences consistently hover around the values denoted by the rule the black line. If anything, in practice, men are more conservative when it comes to preferred marriage, preferring a minimum age higher than the rule would say is OK.
When it comes to sexual fantasies, however, men have minimum age preferences that are younger than the rule would deate appropriate. For example, this sample of year-old men reports that it is acceptable to fantasize about women in their 20s, which the rule would say is unacceptable. But fantasies, of course, are not generally subject to public scrutiny and the rule is only deed to calculate what is socially acceptable in the public eye —so this Proper dating age is not necessarily a failure of the rule.
Proper dating age rule overestimates the perceived acceptability of men becoming involved with older women. Instead, men report maximum acceptable partner ages that hover around their own age through their 40s. After 40, maximum age preferences for most remain lower than their own age.
Thus the rule for maximum age is fairly ineffective at capturing what men actually believe is acceptable. Case Study: George Clooney. He approached the line with two other partners but is well within the threshold in his marriage with Amal Alamuddin. The minimum rule half-your-age-plus-seven seems to work for men, although the maximum rule falls short, failing to reflect empirical age-related preferences.
In other words, while the rule states that year-old women can feel comfortable dating year-old men, this does not reflect the Proper dating age preferences and standards of women. Women in their 40s think that approximately 35 or older is acceptable for marriage or a relationship. The rule states that it is acceptable for year old women to date men who are up to 46 years old, but in reality, year-old women state that their max acceptable partner age would be less than 40 around Case Study: Demi Moore.
By the time of their separation inhowever, Kutcher, then 33 had crossed the minimum threshold Curious outsiders are quick to judge when they can see a wide age gap between two romantic partners. Maybe this is why the rule is so appealing. In a world in which many social norms are often unspoken, the half-your-age-plus-7 rule concretely defines a boundary. But the rule does not map perfectly onto actual reports of what is socially acceptable. At times it is too stringent, but most often it appears too lenient, condoning age pairings with which most people are not comfortable.
So if you are following the half-your-age-plus-7 rule, know that it may not be perfect or truly mirror age-related preference. You might also take care to refer to the maximum age judiciously—the minimum age guideline seems to be more on target and more so for men than women. Proper dating age, B. Age preferences for mates as related to gender, own age, and involvement level. Evolution and Human Behavior22 Theresa DiDonato, Ph. Worry is driven by mood, not logic. Anxiety holds your deepest yearnings. And you can subdue it for good. Three experts turn everything you know about anxiety inside out.
Theresa E. DiDonato Ph. Meet, Proper dating age, and Keep. Research finds that one well-known guideline may not work for everyone.
Key points People often use the "half-your-age-plus-7 rule" to determine the minimum Proper dating age acceptable age they can date — but this doesn't always work. In some cases, the of the "half-your-age-plus-7 rule" doesn't reflect scientific evidence for age preferences. Men prefer a minimum age that's higher than the "half-your-age-plus-7 rule" would say is okay.
References Buunk, B. About the Author. Read Next. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness. Family Life Child Development Parenting. View Help Index. Do I Need Help? Back Magazine. September A Sigh of Relief Worry is driven by mood, not logic. Back Today.
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