Added: Meeka Wiest - Date: 17.10.2021 17:25 - Views: 11072 - Clicks: 3105
Maybe it just snuck up on you. A few texts here, a phone call there. Even if you manipulated events just right beforehand to have it happen, it still probably took you by surprise that you actually did it. Yet, it happens every day, and women are not immune to infidelity either. I think that for most women who strayed- they would probably identify a need to escape, wanting deeper connection, or a desire to be wanted, as one of the main reasons for their affair. Regardless of what led you into the affair, or what needs you had that you feel are now being met, it still creates confusion and chaos within.
Maybe a part of your heart is still for your husband, you love him, or did love him. You may have kids together but the connection between you has grown cold or stale. Yet, maybe you believe you love your affair partner. He seems to understand you and is in tune with your feelings. Every effort to end the affair leaves you going right back into your affair partners arms again. I Married and wanting someone else feeling like no matter what I did it would hurt, and I was right. Yea, I know, kinda selfish huh? This alone can keep you from making any decision to move forward.
What will it take to make a decision about ending the affair or continuing in it? That creates an internal conflict and mixed emotions and confusion. That tug of war that goes on inside our souls can be torturous. So in this case, put all your options on paper. Believe me, I did this myself too. Each of these 4 choices have their own unique consequences tied to them. You probably realize that any decision you make will be painful. Anyone whose had an affair has been there. So often, we choose to not make a decision.
The consequence to this is the decision may be made for you, as I explain in 4. Married and wanting someone else might also be helpful to read the stages an affair goes through here. On a side note, are you having a hard time believing you could have even been swept up in an affair? Although most people in an affair never get that far. In the beginning the bond seems so strong, the emotions are intense between you and your affair partner.
The thing you must remember before jumping ship from your marriage and breaking up the family is every relationship has stages. This beginning phase is the excitement, euphoria stage.
Realize that leaving your husband will also affect your children, and your relationship WITH your children. But kids often take that as a personal rejection on them as well. So if you choose a life with your affair partner, and broke up your family for that, so just be very clear with yourself what the consequences will be on your relationship with you.
But this person also gets to show their best side to you right now. The side without bills or maintaining a house and family. These are real life scenarios and most affairs are not based on real life. Read my post would your affair partner make a good husband?
The illicit relationship of an affair creates the release of brain chemicals like Oxytocin and Dopamine. While at the same time Serotonin levels dip. While another brain chemical comes on the scene -Oxytocin. Oxytocin is the chemical that seems that helps create the bond between two individuals. Much like a Mother with her new baby. Stick with your decision here to end the affair and all contact with your AP, and focus on rebuilding the trust and love in your marriage again.
You hold a lot of the keys to his healing and the restoration by how you behave from here on. For more actionable tips, read this post for some great Marriage Rebuilding Ideas! So, here are 2 scenarios that could happen, Either:. Your husband finds out but may wait for you to end the affair and show s of wanting to work on the marriage. But, how long will he wait? Nobody can answer that for him. He could be like my husband who did wait and he tried to have patience for me to come around, but the many months of back and forth wore on him, understandably.
So be certain you know what you really want before someone makes that decision for you, and Married and wanting someone else you have no choice but to live with that for the rest of your life. I know I was pretty direct here, but I felt I needed to really lay it out for you on what your choices are. Our hearts may lie to us and tell us we will never ever be happy back in our marriages or apart from our affair partner.
Just remember, feelings lie to us everyday. Between the brain chemicals that do their on us, keeping us connected to someone Married and wanting someone else might not be good for us. And the feeling of indecision that takes over our mind because every decision sucks. Choose wisely, and be aware that parts of your emotions that are so convincing right now, will likely change in the future if we are led by our feelings only. Do want to read posts that offer more help?
Also read Still in the affair and confused. OR, Have you read my letter to you if you are for the unfaithful wife? Needing hope and encouragement?
Take my self paced course to learn how to end your affair for good and reclaim your life. Student. Most women say they had an affair because of unmet emotional needs. But in the quiet of your soul, is the guilt eating you up? End the affair yourself, and work on your marriage.
Or, have the decision made FOR you- meaning either your lover ends it, or your spouse finds out and decides to end the marriage. Or, your spouse knows, but has lost patience waiting for you to get it together and end the affair. In either case, the choice is made for you in this scenario. Deciding to end your Married and wanting someone else to be with the affair partner.
To change the direction of your life for that feeling may actually cause you more grief and pain later. What relationships will be affected by your decision to end up with your affair partner? Ending Married and wanting someone else affair yourself and working on your marriage. But this can also happen to 2 people new in a romantic relationship. This last one is that the decision will be made for you, eventually.
This one is especially likely if you delay in making a decision yourself. So, here are 2 scenarios that could happen, Either: A. Your lover will get tired of waiting for you to move forward with him. OR, B. Your husband will find out and want to end the marriage quickly. OR, C. So there you have it, The 4 important choices you have, along with their likelywhen you are married, but in love with someone else. And it really seems to suck for a while, I know. But we have to each accept that our decisions and choices in life DO affect other people.
Will you regret changing your life because you believed them?Married and wanting someone else
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I'm Married, But In-Love With Someone Else—What Should I Do?